


Forever Dark

by theladyunicorn



Series: Death and Darkness [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-04
Updated: 2011-08-04
Packaged: 2017-10-22 05:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/234165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theladyunicorn/pseuds/theladyunicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Narcissa should have realised that given her surname she would be surrounded by darkness. Now it is too much for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever Dark

All her life she had been surrounded by the darkness. Sometimes literal, sometimes not. As she sat there now it was the literal darkness that surrounded her as she waited for her husband to return home. It was midnight, if not later. She didn't want to know the time, she would just fret if she did, well fret more than she already was. It had been happening for weeks now. Well weeks that she had noticed, for all she knew it could have been happening for years. Actually she didn't want to know, she wanted to remain in ignorant bliss. Her happy place, the place where she and her husband were happy together like they used to be.

As she sat there, the moon streaming onto her face she felt the tears start to fall. She didn't bother to hide them, not this time, not last time and not the next time they fell either. She wasn't the innocent little girl that she used to be, she had lived through two wars and had come out of them alive, she would survive this. Nothing would break her now, not even her son abandoning her after the war, to try and remake his life. She and her husband hadn't heard from him since days after the war, after they had all been pardoned. It broke her heart to think about it. All of it these days was depressing, there was no light in her life any more something she craved but had no idea how to get back.

She didn't even know if she did want it back when it came down to it and that scared her more than she would ever want to admit.

Bringing her legs up to her chest, she wrapped her arms around them leaning her chin on them. She had no idea how long she sat like that. It could have been minutes or hours for all she knew, she just tried her hardest to forget everything, to block everything out and to pray that everything was normal once again. Except it wasn't. It was far from normal.

Finally she looked at the clock and saw it was 3am. She should be asleep but she knew if she went to bed know she would be plagued by nightmares of the war like she always was. No matter what she did, what potions she took they came each night. Always the same.

At first it would start with her husband in Azkaban, the Dark Lord in their manor and then it would move on. Her son would be tortured, she would be beaten, tortured and raped. The Dark Lord doing it personally, breaking her physically and mentally. It would go on and on like this until the end. The Battle of Hogwarts where she witnessed Bellatrix dying over and over again. Seeing Severus's dead body, her husband and son dying too. While the last two hadn't happened during the battle she dreamed of it every night and she hated it.

She was sobbing by now but she didn't care. If there was one thing the war had taught her was that appearances no longer mattered, no matter how much she wanted them to. Her family and her had fallen so far and had yet to crawl out of the hole they had been thrown into by the Dark Lord's punishment and now the new Ministry's hatred of them and all things Dark.

It did nothing to help her.

Not bothering to light a wand, she rose and moved through the house silently, knowing where everything was despite the darkness surrounding her, not even the moon or the stars lighting the way for her. Reaching the cupboard in the 'forbidden room' as she called it – no one had come here in years, not even during the past year with the Dark Lord's reign over the manor had they entered the room.

Taking a deep breathe she tried to calm herself as she opened it, the counter spells to the wards coming instinctively to her. Reaching for the vial she was after she took a deep breathe, pulled it out before locking it behind her.

Raising, she made her way back to the living room where she poured herself a glass of wine, tipping the vial into it. She had to do this. There was no turning back now, there was no light in her life and she refused to live in the darkness despite her maiden name. Perhaps she should have realised that her parents name was a curse years ago. Andromeda disowned, Bellatrix insane, she should have known something of the darkness would fall open her too despite it being so many years of lightness in her life.

She didn't think of Lucius or Draco. She only thought of the pain that would never go away, the darkness that had surrounded her for months, never disappearing, no matter what she did. Drowning her. That was what the darkness was doing, it was forever drowning her and there as nothing she could do about it. Not any more. Perhaps at the beginning if they had tried harder to keep the family together they would have managed it but not now. Now it was too late for all of that.

The only thing that mattered to her now was ending this and to her at that moment there was only one way to do so.

Closing her eyes, she lifted the glass to her lips and stilled. She was starting to panic, was about to not do it when she managed to convince herself that there was no other option. She had to go through with it. Even with the nerves. With that she gulped down the wine, dropped the glass on the floor, vaguely hearing it smash as it hit the tiles.

She could tell the potion was starting to work. The world was getting darker, it was harder to breathe. Falling to her knees in the broken glass she didn't notice the cuts all over her knees and palms from it not the pain that they caused her. She felt the pain in the chest as she struggled to breathe, the burning of the blood as the potion entered her veins, the blurry vision. All signs that it was working.

It wouldn't be long soon.

Vaguely she heard footsteps approaching her, someone gasp and drop something on the floor. She didn't pay them any attention until they knelt in front of her, pulling up her chin to look at them. Seeing it was Lucius she did feel a flash of guilt at the look upon his face.

“I had to, Lucius. I couldn't take the pain any more,” she managed to gasp out as she struggled for air even more so.

“I know, love,” he said reaching out to stroke her face. “I'll join you in death, I won't abandon you again. I shouldn't have left you alone for so long. I just felt so guilty about everything that had happened to her,” he said softly.

That was the last thing she heard before the darkness claimed her forever.


End file.
